You can't miss what you don't know...
If there is one sentence that must never be forgotten, it is this very one. Once you know, even but a glimpse of what it is you were always missing... It's over. You can never forget, and you can never dismiss it.
Time has never seemed to pass so slowly. It doesn't help that I happen to have so much time on my hands... but it's not like I would want to be busy like everyone else.
My thoughts are in such a fog... I am only feeling these days. I never really allowed myself to feel in reality, so it's kind of new to me and it makes me increasingly wary of pain.
I have also spent so much time living through words only that it has turned me into quite a champion when it comes to use words as a weapon. It frightens me so much at times, that I could accidentally hurt another without meaning to... just because they happen to trigger a negative emotion...
I have to be more aware and responsible in the way I choose my words. Why? because mine will always have a strong effect, or they will grow to have a deep impact, and therefore I feel responsible in the way they ought to impact on others.
Its just so hard to control my aggressive urges when facing morrons... or mindless people... It's like a strong allergy that makes me want to crush not so much the person, but the limited mind behind. Just to... make them think, even for a mere split second, beyond what is fake and illusory. Beyond the mindless opinions they adopt every day without even realising it. Beyond their own conditioning which they embrace whole-heartedly.
It's disgusting.
Apart from that... I am immersed in a cloud of feelings... and part of me is very afraid that gravity will kick in again at some point to have me crash down to Earth... and then what? Who will be there to help me get up again?
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