Here is an attempt to capture moments of my reality... A diary of the very things I never pay attention to - uncensored and rough. Thoughts and details I would never think of adding or dwell on... It's probably the most boring thing to do, but I'm still trying to figure out the meaning of absolutely everything in the world and so it is I have to start somewhere (which would be me)... It's a little experiment, really. I am, after all, always ready to become my own guinea pig to push the boundless limits of my mind.

Friday, 31 December 2010

31/12/2010

A few hours left. A few hours left until the new year. How do I feel? I woke up early and buzzing with thoughts... I love it when that happens because I'm not talking about any sort of buzzing thoughts... It's when I can feel a deep thread of reasoning is about to emerge clear as daylight for me to then take the time to translate into words.

It's hard to explain... In my head, I understand things in such deep and intricate ways, mainly because my mind is able to handle a LOT of factors all at once... But the difficulty was always that I'm often unable to sit down and write in a way that will lay out the reasoning including all the factors my mind is able to take into account at once. I think that's because when you try to express thoughts, you can only write or speak one idea at a time - the reasoning process needs to be broken down in steps to lead to the conclusion. Within the mind, all these steps are processed simultanuously. Well, in my mind it seems to be the case.

So I really need to sit down and start the process of expressing each factor my mind is able to take into account, each of them leading the way to the conclusion I reach... something like that. It's the only way to... finally express a perfected theory that showcases exactly the very high number of factors my mind took into consideration when coming to certain conclusion. The only way to express in depth my visions and understanding, and if I can do just that (just!) then I can already sense it would make it very hard to find any flaw in it. Why? Because I will have thought of all the possible factors and arguments possible against each and every single thing I express.

I tried to go to sleep at an earlier time last night... But I couldn't sleep. I stared at the white ceiling for some time, and then it got me thinking about things.

Society is very clever in the way it imprisons us. It will encourage even the best of us to follow our passions and dreams within its mainstream settings, so that in effect, we never see in time that we're being sucked into the vicious circle of having to slave away (work) for a living - rarely earning or saving enough to break free to actually pursue in depth the core of our passions in life, or to break free from the machine itself. Why rarely earning or saving enough to break free? Because we end up addicted or caught up in a certain lifestyle or other that rests on us spending all the time so that this society can keep existing in all its flaws...

If only society wasn't so cunning at tricking us in such a way, we would see that the key always was to select the work that pays the most with the aim to save enough to one day be able to break free to focus on our true passions and dreams.

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