| Why can't life be simple? That's why the concrete world doesn't interest me. I see past the pretention, past the fake complications or complexities people invent just to make the world look more than it is... Or because they are bored, or they think it will make it more interesting, or they hope they can appear cleverer than the rest. |
| If only I had been born a mere 50 years ago... Then with the studies I did I would by now be on my way to working in a field I would actually have hopes in. I would have had the chance to start from the bottom, honing my skills as I learn, but today everything has changed, and it's been changing for quite a while - and it is changing faster and faster |
| And you are expected to adapt and comply. I can't do that.... How can I adapt and comply with everything that is the complete opposite of what I am in essence? And if everyone adapted and complied... then where would be hope? There would be no hope left whatsoever. There is a reason why I cut myself off reality so often, and that's because seeing it for what it is makes me depressed. |
| I'm not very bright, and I know next to nothing, yet I have been blessed or cursed with the ability to see beyond shams. That essencially means that I cannot possibly be enticed by what is fake, and if by mistake I do, it doesn't take too long for my reason to kick in and get me the hell out of there. So this world I live in, and which happens to be based on illusions more than at any other time in human history, makes me pretty miserable. It is everything I am not. |
| I wish I had a spaceship I could hijack and take off to some far away galaxy no one has yet discovered. I wish there was one piece of land left on this Earth that wasn't owned by some greedy punk or some bloodthirsty corporation of some sort. I wish there was one country left that didn't have Coca Cola or cheezburgers on offer... and that if such a country was still in existence today, it wasn't plagued by cleverly engineered wars, genocides or intense starvation through some embargo or other. I wish people would stop saying that they think something or other, because they never actually stop to question how much of their thoughts are really theirs, and how much of those thoughts just aren't. I wish I could be like Prometheus, the bearer of light, and that I could steal a flame of wisdom and reason to infect the world with just those. And if it means I'd have to be tied to a rock for vulture to eat my liver forever as punishment, then so be it. I would still go for it because there are things in life worth hurting for, and this is one of them. |
Anyway... Back to reality, i guess. It's a grey Wednesday afternoon, full of heavy clouds and the wind is shaking the trees outside my window.
The kids from the school right next door have gone home now. I watch them run about screaming and shouting in the playground from time to time during the day.
It makes me think how much of a contrast there is between school life and adult life... They teach you all this subjects for so many years - algebra, physics, chemistry, history, geography, etc... They make you learn all these things in such depth, and they test you on them all the time... They keep warning you that if you fail your life will suck forever... They remind you that the work you do now will be to build your future, etc... They tell you all these things, but the truth is that school was never the place that would teach you about life, not even life as an adult in the adult world.
Man, this makes no sense whatsoever. It's like teaching someone that red is blue and blue is red for the first 20 years of their life, only to reveal later that actually, it's the opposite, so they have to learn everything all over again.
I'm neither sad nor depressed today, merely reflective.
Who cares anyway... Today I learned things like
| blablabla |
Yeah, today I was learning about colors and tables.
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