A very grey and wet Monday afternoon... How time flies! But something has changed in the way I perceive Time, and to an extent even how I experience it... That perception took a long time to shift, and for a while I didn't even realise that my perception of it was changing at all...
.. Till I realised that I no longer relate to the notion of Time the way most people would. I can see in my mind's eye very clearly that my being is only a simple vector moving along the spectrum of Time, and beyond that ability to actually see that for myself, I have this pecular relationship with Time forming which is based on a perception that all times are really One.
And as this perception grows, I find that I'm more and more able to detach myself from the detail to have a clearer view of the whole... Literally as one would somehow be able to take a view of the world from space so that all factors can be taken into account at once. A bird's eye view of everything that makes us.
I really wish at times that I hadn't been put off by maths ever since I was a child... I used to be extremely good at all things scientific, and I had that natural inclination to experiment with natural elements. School actually destroyed most of my innate talents in the bud, and in turn that leaves me with a very powerful mind lacking the basic tools to expend.
I have all these geometric-like patterns of thoughts and many threads that seem to build themselves in such a mathematical way in my head and yet all this is trapped. I can't get it all out the way it ought to because something is still missing.
Sometimes I get to the point where I see things so clearly that I feel as though the only way to actually express the reasoning would look exactly like a complex equation... not words, but numbers. It makes me want to shove my hand inside my brain and retrieve what it is my mind can understand so accurately.
I still think that in order to define reality, a very complex equation would be required. I think there may come a point when my mind will be so frustrated by its lack of 'tools' that it will seek to get past that mental block to finally enable me to try my hand at that equation...
... Or I could hire a genius mathematician, once I have finally managed to explain in words as clearly as I can what it is I see through, and have him work on that bloody equation. that would have the clear advantage of saving me much time.
Today I've been listening to You Tube music and ended up by chance listening to the Matrix soundtrack. This piece in particular is quite good and full of meaning - well, to me anyway.
It's called Navras and the lyrics are... very ancient. Very ancient indeed.
Asato mā sad gamaya
Tamaso mā jyotir gamaya
Mṛtyormā amṛtam gamaya
Aum śānti śānti śāntiḥ (Bṛhadāraṇyaka Upaniṣad 1.3.28)
From ignorance, lead me to truth;
From darkness, lead me to light;
From death, lead me to immortality
Aum peace, peace, peace
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