I dabbled in something new these past few weeks called internet dating sites. I had a lot of free time on my hands, and I was isolated enough to bother reading all the replies that would come through.
I started my little experiment with a gentle-sounding, mainstream kind of profile that went along the lines of this:
I like meeting new, interesting people who like to have a laugh but also enjoy a deep conversation from time to time... about pretty much anything!
I'm very open-minded and have a terribly curious nature. A bit of a kid at heart, I strive on creativity and am quite a laid-back person...
I'm very keen on arts, expecially painting, music and writing.
I guess I'm looking for that special someone I haven't met yet :)
Although I didn't put a picture of myself to go along with it, I started getting a few replies... But what replies! Most of them were so empty and generic, truly telling me nothing about the other person except what one would like to hear at best... so I decided to change my approach (why not, I had the time after all) and created another profile when I happened to feel more frustrated by life in general and its complete lack of sense. But when I say life, i should really say its people, and their lack of meaning for themselves. Indeed, there is nothing 'wrong' with life or the world (as in planet) as such, it's just the way people impose a very limited vision and understanding of it that gets me - because I, too, have to live in those settings imposed, and I have to put up with their limited ways that end up ruling the world just because, well, they constitute the majority.
So here's roughly what I ended up writing in that new profile:
If you're one of them who like to list their interests, don't bother replying to me. Why? because I already know you.
If you're like all the losers out there who believe in the notion of a so-called career, or your dream is to earn lots of money so you can be 'happy', I hope you choke on your own vomit.
Why? Because you're a fake who not only fell for all the lies of this world, but contributes to its mess.
If you're one of those who think they are clever just because they manage to go through the motions of getting a high school diploma or a degree or whatever else that gets you a nice piece of paper in the end, and then see nothing wrong in being made to dress up like a pinguin (suit and tie) while getting stuck every single day of your life on a packed train to work, I hope someone poaches you some day.
Why? Because you're already dead inside.
Well, I thought such words would lead to even fewer responses, but I was wrong. I started getting way more messages than with the previous one even without a picture up. Did the quality of responses vary in any way? That's open for debate - which is why I'll soon be posting sample answers here for any analytical mind out there to assess for themselves.
At first, I was intent on replying to every single message that came through. The way I saw it, it was allowing me to flex my brain muscle a bit and I was getting to excercise my writing skills... It's by doing just that time and time again that a pattern began to emerge in the way people would reply or rather react, to my profile. Indeed, I can now safely categorise (yes, that's right, categorise) the type of reactions/replies I got based on the overall number of messages I received.
So what categories emerged exactly? Well, three main ones, which one is free to sub-categorise further, but in essence there is still a prevalent pattern of thoughts that people seem to belong to more than any other in particular.
1) The mainstream, brainwashed type that appears unable to see beyond today's majority views. That type of person usually reacted very badly or aggressively to the profile. They often feel personally 'attacked' and unable to see past the strong words I used to dwell further on the issues I'm hinting at. A closer look at their profiles, coupled with a further exchange of thoughts with them at times, showed that they belonged to one of the categories I criticised severly... in fact, they didn't just 'belong' to one of them, they saw absolutely nothing wrong with it.
2) The shallow, generic type: now that's a category that includes all the people who don't even bother to read profiles. Instead, they have picked up the habit of simply cutting and pasting the same message without even bothering to customise it according to the person they're writing to... Quite easy to spot after you start getting half a dozen of those a day... Or when they forget that they've already sent you their generic text, and send the same one again 2 weeks later.
3) The open-minded, more thoughtful type: all the people who actually take the time to respond to points raised in the profile. With them at least I got to exchange some interesting intelectual points, although the exchange often withered to nothingness due to a lack of interest in doing anything more than just... think?
Did anything come out of this? Not really so far, but since I set out to experiment without any precise expectations in mind, the opportunity to further explore how people tend to think was good enough for me.
Ah, of course I had to bear in mind that I was using a dating site, therefore I also had to remember that the main purpose for most of those who use it is to find love, or a one night stand, or just to meet new people, etc...
Now, the other interesting aspect of such sites is of course the way people choose to portray themselves, and how they describe what they're looking for... But I think I'll get into that a bit later.
I'm very open-minded and have a terribly curious nature. A bit of a kid at heart, I strive on creativity and am quite a laid-back person...
I'm very keen on arts, expecially painting, music and writing.
I guess I'm looking for that special someone I haven't met yet :)
Although I didn't put a picture of myself to go along with it, I started getting a few replies... But what replies! Most of them were so empty and generic, truly telling me nothing about the other person except what one would like to hear at best... so I decided to change my approach (why not, I had the time after all) and created another profile when I happened to feel more frustrated by life in general and its complete lack of sense. But when I say life, i should really say its people, and their lack of meaning for themselves. Indeed, there is nothing 'wrong' with life or the world (as in planet) as such, it's just the way people impose a very limited vision and understanding of it that gets me - because I, too, have to live in those settings imposed, and I have to put up with their limited ways that end up ruling the world just because, well, they constitute the majority.
So here's roughly what I ended up writing in that new profile:
If you're one of them who like to list their interests, don't bother replying to me. Why? because I already know you.
If you're like all the losers out there who believe in the notion of a so-called career, or your dream is to earn lots of money so you can be 'happy', I hope you choke on your own vomit.
Why? Because you're a fake who not only fell for all the lies of this world, but contributes to its mess.
If you're one of those who think they are clever just because they manage to go through the motions of getting a high school diploma or a degree or whatever else that gets you a nice piece of paper in the end, and then see nothing wrong in being made to dress up like a pinguin (suit and tie) while getting stuck every single day of your life on a packed train to work, I hope someone poaches you some day.
Why? Because you're already dead inside.
Well, I thought such words would lead to even fewer responses, but I was wrong. I started getting way more messages than with the previous one even without a picture up. Did the quality of responses vary in any way? That's open for debate - which is why I'll soon be posting sample answers here for any analytical mind out there to assess for themselves.
At first, I was intent on replying to every single message that came through. The way I saw it, it was allowing me to flex my brain muscle a bit and I was getting to excercise my writing skills... It's by doing just that time and time again that a pattern began to emerge in the way people would reply or rather react, to my profile. Indeed, I can now safely categorise (yes, that's right, categorise) the type of reactions/replies I got based on the overall number of messages I received.
So what categories emerged exactly? Well, three main ones, which one is free to sub-categorise further, but in essence there is still a prevalent pattern of thoughts that people seem to belong to more than any other in particular.
1) The mainstream, brainwashed type that appears unable to see beyond today's majority views. That type of person usually reacted very badly or aggressively to the profile. They often feel personally 'attacked' and unable to see past the strong words I used to dwell further on the issues I'm hinting at. A closer look at their profiles, coupled with a further exchange of thoughts with them at times, showed that they belonged to one of the categories I criticised severly... in fact, they didn't just 'belong' to one of them, they saw absolutely nothing wrong with it.
2) The shallow, generic type: now that's a category that includes all the people who don't even bother to read profiles. Instead, they have picked up the habit of simply cutting and pasting the same message without even bothering to customise it according to the person they're writing to... Quite easy to spot after you start getting half a dozen of those a day... Or when they forget that they've already sent you their generic text, and send the same one again 2 weeks later.
3) The open-minded, more thoughtful type: all the people who actually take the time to respond to points raised in the profile. With them at least I got to exchange some interesting intelectual points, although the exchange often withered to nothingness due to a lack of interest in doing anything more than just... think?
Did anything come out of this? Not really so far, but since I set out to experiment without any precise expectations in mind, the opportunity to further explore how people tend to think was good enough for me.
Ah, of course I had to bear in mind that I was using a dating site, therefore I also had to remember that the main purpose for most of those who use it is to find love, or a one night stand, or just to meet new people, etc...
Now, the other interesting aspect of such sites is of course the way people choose to portray themselves, and how they describe what they're looking for... But I think I'll get into that a bit later.
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