It's past midnight, I can still hear the crows outside.
I've stopped wondering about love these days. There is nothing to wonder about, really. A friend of mine I met today after work made a rather astute observation when it comes to human relations. She observed that most people seemed to get together out of convenience in the end.
Companionship, she said, seemed to be the driving factor after a while, rather than the all elusive notion of 'love'. After all, what is love? Is it really what books and movies portray? What movies and books portray so easily is a rare occurrence in human life, hence why it is so popular in fiction.
So-called 'love' only occurs in human history perhaps 1% of the time. The rest is filled with convenience and the need for companionship. I suspect that the older we get, the more focused on companionship we get. Companionship so we won't be alone, companionship so we can have children and lead the same sort of lives as the rest, etc.
That's all there is to it, right?
I think it is better to be alone, and get to a stage where yes, we are alone, but never lonely. That seems to be what I'm aiming for, and to be perfectly honest, that also seems to fit the patterns of my life.
It doesn't really matter... I like that I was able to at least experience bits of things in life. I learned from it all, or so I hope.
My real issue was never really about relationships, but about my own self, and its place in the world, in a way.
All is exactly as it should be, even as I don't know where the path leads. But you know what? Sometimes it's more beautiful that way. Finding my way in the dark... never knowing where it will lead, but trusting that it will lead where it ought to, no matter what.
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