I keep wondering why I can't get used to the idea of solitude. I need to embrace it and yet the more I try, the more depressed it makes me. Why can't I even find solace in solitude? Why does it always have to feel like loneliness for me?
Since I cannot bond with people, I really need to start getting used to being alone. I wish I could stab my own heart. It is this heart inside this chest that feels so heavy with unspoken sorrows and for no reason. If it didn't exist, I would be free... I would be at peace.
I'm tired of this tortured soul I've somehow inherited. It feels like fire burning inside constantly... pure inner torture.
It's like... not being where you should be, and not doing what you ought to be doing, in a way. There is a pull inside that keeps torturing me, telling me that it's all wrong. And I have no idea what that pull wants me to do.
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