16/10/2010

A rainy Saturday in the world. I feel like my thoughts are stuck and when that happens feelings seem to take over my whole being.

I feel like... a giant bubble of intense feelings. Dreams are also invading my mind, transporting me far, so far... in an imaginary world that has no images to be described because the only senses involved are hearing and touch.

I had strange dreams last night. One of them saw me sitting in a room that looked more like a lab. The walls, chairs and tables were all made of metal. A tall man entered the room, barely even looking at me and yet looking as though he knew me very well. I sat at one of the tables and he handed me a piece of paper. On it was a very long list of random words written one after the other and filling the whole page, except those words seemed to have no meaning as if there were just made-up words. I wish I could remember those 'words' that made no sense because the man said to me "if your mind is really that powerful you will be able to memorise this list of words."

In the dream, i remember glancing at that long list of words that made no sense, and I remember realising that there was no obvious way to make the memorizing easier, such as remembering by association or something like that. I remember thinking bitterly that I'd need to be a freaking computer to memorise something that long and random.

I looked up at the man and mentioned that to him. That's exactly when he met my gaze and smiled knowingly. "Maybe you need to think of a different way" he said, and then he added something about finding the right algorithm. On these words, he left the room and I began trying to memorise that list of strange, meaningless words...

I had just about began to remember the first three words when another man entered the room, disrupting me by asking questions. I tried to ignore him but he just kept on talking and I remember feeling increasingly frustrated because I somehow 'knew' the other person would soon come back to see how much I could remember. Most of the dream then focused on my own thoughts as to how memory works. I began thinking (still in the dream) about how my own memory worked and suddenly I realised that the task was never really about how much of those words I could remember, it was about me being able to decypher the hidden logical pattern that linked them together... suddenly I was certain that the meaninglessness of those words on paper was just an illusion.

Then the tall man entered the room again... and that's when I woke from the dream.

Anyway... I've been roped into going to Oxford Street later today because my uncle needs to buy himself some winter clothes. It's a Saturday and that only means one thing: it will be packed with crowds of people. I told my mother I really didn't want to go but she was having none of it. So I guess that means I'm going...