A rainy first day of October...
The kids in the playground are being told to go stand in line to get back to class… It will be quiet again for a while, I guess. How they happily run to join their line, carefree and laughing… They don’t know yet that reality is far removed from the laws of the playground. Nothing to worry about, mind you, as most of them will have no problem adapting to the transition. I watched my own peers adapt seamlessly to this world, going through the motions of how one is supposed to live and act in society as though it were second nature. Out of all these tiny kids I see running about carelessly, I wonder which one will turn out to be the odd one out, just as I was. Since appearances are so deceptive, it’s unlikely to be the kid standing alone in a corner… for all we know it could be one of the most lively ones surrounded by others… for now.
The view I get from my window is absolutely fascinating. I get the chance to observe children in one of the most fundamental environments to shape them. I almost wish I got to see into their classrooms… but the windows are too far.
Uncle gets irritated by the noise, but I just get lost too deep in thought to notice the screams and shouting.
There comes a point when you realise that some things are out of your human control. Some things shape themselves in a way that you cannot impact on. Not even when those things are at the heart of your own existence. I tried, and every time I tried to force circumstances away from their own shaping - the ones out of my control -, I failed miserably. Whereas the majority is invariably reined back in to fit within the rules of reality, and society, I am invariably reined back in to stand right on the verge of it all to observe that majority.
One of my most cherished fantasies was to escape reality, I never thought that perhaps my wish had been granted - with a twist. Since I am physically bound to this plane of existence like everyone else, I could not ‘escape’ as such… But something else did escape and I’m still trying to figure out what it all means.
Sometimes I feel as though I'm stuck in some variant of reality even though I can still interact with you people who live in the main reality. That’s the first time I manage to explain it as clearly as I ever could. That’s right. I am stuck in an alternate universe all the while being able to communicate and interact with the mainstream universe… but I am ruled by an alternate one. That’s why I feel that wall all the time, isn’t it?… that barrier that prevents me from ever understanding people's limited version of reality.
But.. don’t think for a second that my alternate universe is any better… It's mostly just... different. I am allowed to dream to my heart's content and I get to see beyond the landscape and appearances of all things while all others can only perceive what their eyes show them, and very little beyond that... I'm like a technician behind the scenes of this world, taking notes of all the glitches and flaws, but I'm a bit of a slacker and somehow forgot who I'm supposed to report to.
No matter how confusing things get, I always like to think in terms of light and darkness... There always has to be light… how else would we know what darkness is like if there never was a constant streak of light to guide our very steps?
Light and shadows… this is another fundamental of reality.
No comments:
Post a Comment