I got my way in the end, it seems. Just as we arrived in Oxford Street (and it was packed with even more people than I could imagine) with my uncle to meet my mother there, he said he'd forgotten to switch off the cooker on which food was on... I grinned and my mother gave me that knowing look before saying: "Aren't you happy, you get to go home because of this."

Well, someone had to switch that thing off, right? besides, I have much to think about, and much to make sense of.

I had a conversation with a former work colleague of mine earlier today and I am still profoundly surprised to notice for myself that he has a depth of thoughts I never knew about... but that's because the occasion never arised for us to get talking about things that were deeper than the usual banter and joking ways - or I could sum it up as the social 'script'.

Why am i suprised exactly? I seem under the illusion that somehow I am a completely different breed of human being and that everyone else is somehow 'lesser' than me.
I think environment has a lot to answer for. What I mean to say is that placed in the right environment, most people would be able to develop or let out their deeper selves, and if that alternative environment encouraged people to only think in depth with a mind that can be allowed to focus rather than be scattered in various directions then I would suddenly be surrounded by very meaningful people with the clear ability to match my own depth if not more.

It still doesn't resolve an issue that really frustrates me. WHY is it that every SINGLE time I finally meet people who show hopes of having the same like-minded spirit as me they have to find themselves on the other side of the world?

Is this some kind of sick joke on me? To say I haven't met meaningful people in my life would be a lie, but the pattern so far has been that every time I met such people, something would occur that would ensure we would lose touch. I would either move away or they would, for instance, and the only ones you never seem able to 'lose' are all the idiots... yes, it seems the idiots are always there for you.

I don't know... Environment is such a crucial factor to take into account. Immerse yourself in one that will favor the traits you wish to keep and anything is possible. Until then, there's just too much noise and no possibility to team up in a meanigful way for anything at all.